


Slowly Diving

by brainstorm



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Friends With Benefits, Happy Ending, M/M, Rimming, a bit of angst, friends to friends with benefits to lovers I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:06:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21747742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainstorm/pseuds/brainstorm
Summary: Byeongkwan had been harboring a crush on Sehyoon since forever, so when the opportunity to spend the night with him presented, he took the chance being sure it'd stay as a one time thing. But did it?OrThe friends with benefits to lovers no one asked me to write but I still did anyway.
Relationships: Kim Byeongkwan/Kim Sehyoon | Wow
Comments: 4
Kudos: 173





	Slowly Diving

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe it's been two whole years since I wrote something. My writing skills are a bit rusty so be gentle with me pls. Anyways, have so wowkwan bc we can never have enough wowkwan ^^

In Byeongkwan’s eyes, Sehyoon has always been perfect in every way. Shy and goofy but just the right amount of both things to tickle him in the right way. The first time he saw him was on his first week of orientation when he started college. He then found out they were both dance majors. At first it was just like being starstruck by someone or having a crush from afar. The older boy had two friends he always hung around and he seemed to be the type that was always listening but not much the one to talk. Nevertheless, he still found his smile blinding and the way his eyes crinkle precious. His puffy cheeks only added to the way he swoons over the boy. 

Sehyoon’s body was a whole different story. Exquisite. And the way he moves when he dances, oh boy. His shoulders are broad and his thighs are thick and his arms had the right amount of muscle for him just to think about what it’d be like to be trapped between them. He was not going to confirm nor deny he’s thought about it during his alone time more than once. A boy has his needs. 

On some occasions, he thought he’d caught Sehyoon looking at him in a way he couldn’t read or understand. But the older would look away quickly as soon as their eyes met. 

Fast forward to today, he had never, _ never _ thought he’d be sleeping with Sehyoon. It was still a shock how it happened and that it keeps happening. It was shocking that it happened at all. Yes, they had been friends for almost two years, the time he’s been in college after one of his friends befriended Sehyoon’s friends and they all met at one point. It was awkward for him at first. After being pinning, if you can call it that, after Sehyoon for so long, that now they were sharing afternoons or nights together in the same circle of friends. He had been nervous at first and acted shy which had his friend Chan raising his eyebrows in confusion at him during their first encounters because Byeongkwan was not the shy type of guy. But then again, he never told Chan about his little crush from afar on Sehyoon and he was not going to do it now. 

It happened one night they had been out clubbing that Sehyoon’s friends, well, his friends now too, and Chan, had all disappeared in between the sea of bodies dancing. Byeongkwan sat at a stool in the bar and asked for a beer. Not long after Sehyoon found his way to the stool right next to him saying he had lost his friends. Byeongkwan laughed saying he lost them and Chan long ago but wanted a break from dancing before going back to the dance floor. Sehyoon joined him with a beer too and then they were talking (or more like, screaming into each other’s ears) about the things they saw in the club happening and anything that came to their minds at the moment. They were a bit intoxicated by the amount of alcohol they had had during the night but none of them were actually _ drunk _. 

Moments later found them dancing and laughing together in the dance floor drinks still in hand. The music went from upbeat to a slower one and somehow found them dancing a lot closer, almost grinding on each other. Byeongkwan’s mind was going back and forth thinking that maybe he could pass this up as being drunk and maybe, _ maybe _build up the courage to kiss Sehyoon. But at the same time that could only ruin their friendship. He took another swing from his bottle of beer and decided not to think about it anymore, if it happened then it happened and it’ll stay as a memory of a drunken night and they’ll never talk about it again.

Minutes later Sehyoon spoke next to his ear, saying he was tired already and asking if they could leave. Byeongkwan find it a bit odd because it wasn’t even that late but he wasn’t going to make the older stay if he didn’t want to and he wasn’t going to stay all alone in the club, God knows where their friends were. 

“You can crash at mine if you want,” Byeongkwan offered once they stepped outside the loud music of the club and into the much chillier air of the night. His place was fairly near anyway. The older nodded and they started walking, most of the walk was in silence and their arms of shoulders would bump into each other from time to time. 

Byeongkwan’s dorm wasn’t big, he had a tiny kitchen, a small living room and a bedroom with a bathroom attached to it. “Make yourself at home, uh- I guess?” Byeongkwan said, suddenly feeling nervous about Sehyoon being in his dorm. He walked into his room, taking the thin sweater he was wearing and already looking for clothes to sleep when he noticed the older still standing by the door. “You okay?” he asked, already in the process of taking his shirt off to change it.

“I, uh- I think I should go home” Sehyoon said to him with an expression he couldn’t quite read. 

“Why?” Beyongkwan asked, brows furrowed. “If you’re uncomfortable, I’m sorry, I can-”

“No, I- I just, don’t have spare clothes to sleep in and- don’t want to bother?” was thas a question?

“You don’t bother me,” Byeongkwan smiled, “and I guess I can look for something to borrow you? Maybe one of the shirts I use to practice that’s big enough- I think one of them should fit you,” he said, already walking to his wardrobe to look for something. Sehyoon answered with a faint ‘okay’ before he walked further into the apartment. 

A minute later the younger found some clothes he thought would fit Sehyoon and turn around to gave them to him, “here,” he placed the not so neatly folded clothes in front of the older. Sehyoon took the clothes with one hand but his eyes never left Byeongkwan’s ones making him feel smaller under his gaze.

“I, uh- I’ll sleep in the couch and you can take the bed,” the younger said and tried to dodge Sehyoon’s body to exit the room but a hand grabbed his arm before he could.

“Kwan,” Sehyoon’s voice was low and he felt his breath stutter. 

“W- what?” Byeongkwan turned to look at him, his eyes going from his eyes to his lips. 

There was a pause that seemed like eternity for the younger but suddenly the clothes Sehyoon was holding where on the floor and his hands were holding Byeongkwan’s face before he closed the space between their lips. 

It was a whirlwind of emotions, their kiss was sloppy and hungry and for Byeongkwan it tasted like alcohol but something so inherently Sehyoon. There was a moment they separated and looked at each other’s eyes, a silent question if they were okay with what they were doing. With what could possibly happen. 

Moments later found their clothes scattered all over the small bedroom and two boys in their underwear, their hands touching whatever they could of the other while kissing. Byeongkwan couldn’t believe this was happening, he had thought about it so many times and now it was actually real. He never thought the older boy was interested in him in that way, maybe it was the alcohol they had consumed but he was too far gone to stop it. Sehyoon’s skin was milky white and his muscles were defined just enough. His thighs were godly, really, the younger was in awe at how good the older boy’s legs looked. 

Sehyoon was kissing his neck slowly, biting the skin lightly and Byeongkwan wanted more, he wanted everything he could get from this night because he knew, he was almost sure it was a side effect of the alcohol and it was not going to happen again. He wanted it to last and he wanted the full experience. He let Sehyoon make his way down his body, kissing and leaving small marks but he was getting impatient so he decided to take charge. He managed to get the older boy up to his lips again and maneuvered them on his (too) small bed so he was on top. Now it was his turn to make his way down the older’s body. He didn’t spend that much time and Sehyoon stopped him when he grabbed the hem of his boxers. Byeongkwan looked up at him. 

“Just checking in,” Sehyoon spoke, “you sure?” the younger nodded.

The next morning Byeongkwan woke up with his blankets wrapped tightly around him but the warmth of a body missing. 

*

The following week his schedule was packed with dance practice and some group work he had to do and he didn’t even bump into Sehyoon. He figured that what had happened between them it had been a one time thing given that the older boy wasn’t there when he woke up the next morning and they haven’t talked since. He wasn’t hurt but he didn’t want this to affect their friendship either. They shared the same circle of friends after all. And crush aside, Sehyoon was a great friend, sure, he’s a shy guy but always willing to help, with dancing or whatever he needed. He was also fun to hang around when you get to know him. So no, he wasn’t hurt, but he was a bit worried that their friendship had been ruined but what happened and he didn’t even have the time to talk to him. And even if he did, what was he going to say? Sehyoon had clearly agreed to what they did so he was also curious to know what was going on in his head. If he even thought about it, that is. 

It wasn’t until the next weekend that they decided to have a night in with the rest of the boys at Donghun’s dorm. And well, some things had clearly happened the past weekend in that club. 

“Wait, wait- you _ what? _” Chan said, surprised. 

“We hooked up.” Donghun repeated himself.

“And now we’re dating.” Jun spoke.

Byeongkwan threw a quick glance at Sehyoon but the elder didn’t look at him. Oh how he wished that was the case for him and Sehyoon too, but he knew it was impossible. Chan was almost gaping and he didn’t understand why, Donghun and Jun’s relationship was just waiting to happen. Actually he thought they already were together when he met them, to him it was a surprise they weren’t. 

After that topic of conversation was done, they moved on to a different one, lots of snacks in front of them and a movie already paused on the TV and waiting to be watched. 

*

It wasn’t until the next weekend, two weeks after Sehyoon and Byeongkwang’s hook up that there was a knock on the younger’s boy door. Standing there when he opened was Sehyoon. The older smiled slightly, “hi,” he seemed almost more shy than he was, “can we talk?” he asked. Byeongkwan nodded and let him in. 

Sehyoon stood there awkwardly for a moment, “can I sit?” 

“Sure,” Byeongkwan said and sat next to the older boy. “What’s up?”

“Uh… I wanted to talk to you about… you know, what happened a couple of weeks ago…” 

“Okay,” he nodded, not really knowing what to expect. 

“I wanted to say sorry first, I left and-”

“It’s okay,” Byeongkwan shrugged, “it was a one time thing anyway, right?” he looked away from the older’s face. 

“Yeah, about that…” Sehyoon scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and looked away, not knowing how to say what he wanted to say. “I’d- I’d do it again.” 

Byeongkwan’s eyes flew to Sehyoon’s face so fast he almost got dizzy. What? “You- really?” 

“Yeah… I mean, if you want to, of course, I wouldn’t-”

“Sure,” Byeongkwan cut him maybe a little bit too fast. If he didn’t want to sound desperate, well… he failed. 

“Really?” Sehyoon asked, his eyes looking at him as if he was still unsure. 

“Yeah. I mean, I had a good time. And- I’m guessing you too?” he said and chuckled lighty.

Sehyoon let out a breath, as if a burden was now off his shoulders. “So like… how does this work?”

“Hm,” Byeongkwan’s face turned into a thinking one, “I guess… we just let the other know when… we’re up to it? I don’t know,” he laughed shyly. 

Sehyoon nodded slightly, “I guess.” He looked at the younger for a moment before he looked away. Byeongkwan sighed.

“You know you’re gonna have to talk to me, right? I can’t read your mind,” and maybe that’s the most forward he spoke to the older boy. 

“I know. Sorry,” Sehyoon looked down, “it’s just. I don’t know, it’s kind of… weird.”

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to. But you kind of came here to say this so…” 

“I’m confusing, I get it,” Sehyoon chuckled nervously and Byeongkwan moved closer to him, putting his hand on the older’s thigh giving it a slight squeeze. They could make it work.

*

It had been awkward at first. Even though they had talked about it, the texts to meet up, the encounters at first, everything. It was a silent agreement that the rest of their friends didn’t know about it, it would only bring questions and remarks and well, they didn’t want that. 

Sex between them was a rollercoaster and mostly just fun and to get their minds off things. You’d think dancing would exhaust you enough but… not really. It started as mainly that, as a way to escape from college preoccupations, dance practices, and just whatever frustrates them that required to be out of their systems. Maybe they’ll catch a glance at each other in the dance building and they knew they’ll be seeing each other later that day. Or sometimes one would just text the other and just, who would get your frustrations better than someone with your own major? 

It started as something that happened from time to time, not really knowing how the other would react, not really knowing how to go from friends to being intimate with each other and not be awkward after. It kind of felt like a deal at first and Byeongkwan was starting to question if it was even a good idea to have accepted to it. But they got rid of that feeling with a bit of time and they were starting to enjoy it, get the hang of it. He knew that he at least was having a good time, after all, he had been harboring a crush on the older for a while. But he could tell that Sehyoon had loosen up a bit too and was having fun. The not knowing what to do with their hands, the not knowing if touching was okay and not being sure of the other boundaries stayed in the past and it was not even necessary for them to talk it out, it was just about how their bodies got used to each other, how after a long day they just craved for it. It came to a point in which they just knew what to do and how to do it to make the other feel good. They knew each other’s weaknesses and how they liked it. 

Byeongkwan loved spending time exploring Sehyoons body. He was kind of quiet and that was no exception in bed, that’s why the younger loved spending time kissing, lapping, sucking and sometimes even biting all over his body to know the older’s reactions. It was a true turn on to him to hear the other moan or grunt. And at the same time, he loved how Sehyoon could be gentle with him and spend all the time in the world to make him feel good. He had the suspicion the older had some kind of kink to hear him beg, but he never asked. Sehyoon could also be rough but always with his consentment and it was even rare that it happened. Byeongkwan loved this rare encounters in which Sehyoon would manhandle him but nonetheless he enjoyed all the times they spent together. 

But with all this happening, they had become closer and more affectionate towards each other without even noticing and it was starting to show. They never used to sit together when they were at one of their friends’ place, let alone be touchy with each other. Byeongkwan didn’t do it on purpose, but his body was used to being in contact with the other boy. It wasn’t that much, just his arm around his shoulder or a hand in his thigh but Sehyoon wasn’t a touchy person himself, with anyone, so the younger noticed how their friends threw confused looks at them. 

It wasn’t weird that after having sex they had spent some time with each other, just chatting or complaining about something. But it was never really romantic. They never cuddled, never stayed the night over the other’s place or anything like that, yet Byeongkwan was starting to face what he feared the most: having feelings for the other boy. But Sehyoon made it so hard not to fall for him, with his shy personality that he slowly let Byeongkwan get to know, his dorky humor, the way his cheeks puffed when he smiled or laughed, the way he moved his eyebrows when he didn’t know what to do, the way he danced so smoothly and of course, the way he made him feel when they fucked. He spent his classes daydreaming about the boy and nights wondering how it’d feel to cuddle to him and feel the warmth of his body. He started to feel so attached that he was embarrassed of how often he’d text him to have him over or be at his. 

It wasn’t until he saw him one day dancing in one of the studios, some kind of choreography with a lot of body rolls and sharp movements that he shared with a partner that he felt jealousy boiling up inside him. It wasn’t healthy, they weren’t together and they would never be because he was sure it was one sided and that Sehyoon had no feelings for him. 

It had to stop, even if it hurt. 

*

Byeongkwan had texted Sehyoon saying he had a really bad day and needed something to de-stress, asking if it was okay for him to be at his place later that night. The older boy answered with an okay and that he’ll see him later. 

Byeongkwan had to calm himself with a deep breath before he knocked on the older boy’s door, but it was to no avail because the moment he saw him, he was almost jumping him, closing the door after him and kissing him hard, pressing Sehyoon against a wall. He was waiting no time and started to work on the buttons on the other’s jeans when Sehyoon stopped him. 

“Wow, okay,” he chuckled, “you said you had a bad day but how bad was it?” he asked, not used to this kind of behaviour from the younger and took his hand to take him to the bedroom as he spoke. 

“Terrible,” Byeongkwan answered and pushed Sehyoon to sit on the edge of the bed so he could kneel on his lap. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders and closed the space between their lips. It started slow, he noticed how the older wanted to lead the pace but he didn’t let him, so the kiss became sloppier and dirtier. He started grinding his hips on the older, desperate for attention. Sehyoon noticed the other boy was acting, in some kind of way, different than usual, but maybe he did have a really bad day, so if he wanted it fast or rough, then it was what he’d get. 

The older gripped the other’s legs and stood up so he could turn around, letting Byeongkwan fall onto his back on the bed. He took his shirt off and propped the younger to do the same before he climbed over the smaller body. He proceeded to kiss the boy then making his way lower, sucking briefly on his neck, redish marks appearing. He took his time sucking on one of his nipples and playing with the other between his fingers. He loved the noises and little moans Byeongkwan always let out when he did it. The younger had one of his hands pulling his hair while the other scratched his back slightly. He kissed his way down his belly and the fact that Byeongkwan was wearing sweats made it easy for him to slid it down his legs together with his boxers. The younger shivered a bit at the sudden exposure but didn’t really have any time before Sehyoon took his member in between his lips. He spent only a moment sucking him before he spread his legs and made his way lower. Rimming was something they rarely did but he decided to go for it. He circled his tongue around the rim before entering it slowly. He looked up to watch Byeongkwan to see one of his arms covering his eyes, his other hand wrinkling the sheet with such strength his knuckles were almost white. His chest was moving up and down quickly and his lips were parted. He spent quite some time eating him out before the younger’s moans were getting too loud and frequent, which he already knew it meant that he was close. He placed a kiss on Byeongkwan’s thigh before moving away. The younger whined at the loss of contact and the older chuckled. He unbuttoned his jeans getting rid of it and his boxers. He looked for a box under his bed to take out a tube of lube that was already getting empty and a condom. 

Sehyoon placed himself in between the younger’s legs before he coated his fingers with lube. Prepping can be most people’s least favorite part, but for Sehyoon it was amazing. He got to see every reaction from Byeongkwan, how his breathing changed, how his back arched and how desperate he got. The younger was truly a sight to see, all the time, of course, but no one got to see him like this like Sehyoon did. 

He tried to take his time spreading him open but Byeongkwan was pressuring him to just get to it, so knowing how the younger felt that day, he tried to make it as quick as possible without hurting him. 

By the time Byeongkwan felt the fingers leave him, he couldn’t help the whine that left his lips. And suddenly, he realized that this was going to be the last time he spent with Sehyoon like this, and he had let it go to waste by his anxiety. He felt his eyes get watery but let out a deep breath to contain himself. 

Sehyoon spread his legs wider and rolled the condom on before he coated himself with lube. He groaned at the sensation after all the time he ignored his own erection. He placed one of Byeongkwan’s legs over his shoulder before aligning himself with the younger’s hole. 

“Wait!” Byeongkwan suddenly stopped him. The older looked at him surprised by the sudden change in his voice. “S- slow, please” Byeongkwan said softer. Sehyoon’s face cocked to the side and looked at him in confusion. 

“But- I thought- you-” the older tried to form a coherent sentence but couldn’t wrap his head around the sudden change in attitude in the younger. 

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s j-just- please,” the younger almost pleaded, voice going softer by the end of the sentence. 

Sehyoon blinked a couple of times before he bent down to kiss the younger. “It’s okay,” he said softly against his lips, “I won’t ever do anything you don’t want,” he placed another another kiss before moving away. And God fucking damn it, why was Sehyoon always so considerate? Why was he always so caring? It was the least of all the things Byeongkwan needed then. 

Sehyoon put down the leg he had placed on his shoulder to wrap it around his waist before pushing in slowly into Byeongkwan. They both let out a moan after the head went in. He pushed in slowly not to hurt the younger even though there was no signal of pain. He stopped when he was in completely, giving Byeongkwan a moment. It didn’t matter how many times they did this, it always felt amazing and left him speechless. 

He waited for Byeongkwan’s nod before he started moving, slowly until he set a pace that was not that slow but still slow enough to be on the edge of torture. He pushed in hard but took his time to pull out every time he did, earning loud gasps and moans from the other. It didn’t last much before he started to speed up his thrusts. 

He moved to kiss Byeongkwan on the lips fervently, tongues crashing together until he felt something wet against his cheek and pulled away to look at the younger. There were tears running down his face. He stopped moving his hips. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, “do you want me to stop?” 

Byeongkwan shook his head no and cleaned the tears with his hands, “don’t stop” he mumbled.

Sehyoon wasn’t sure and still looked at him in the face, “are you sure? Do you want to talk?”

“You have your dick up my ass and you want to talk?” Byeongkwan suddenly snapped. Why was Sehyoon so good and caring? It was making it so difficult for him.

“It just doesn’t feel right.”

“I’m okay. I promise,” Byeongkwan forced a smile and pulled the older down to kiss him. Sehyoon was looking at him so strongly that he felt almost small, but didn’t ask any more questions before he started moving his hips again. 

Byeongkwan asked to turn around at some point, he couldn’t stand Sehyoon’s eyes on him the whole time, he felt so good but also so sad because of the decision he had made. Sehyoon had put a pillow under his hips and he buried his face in his arms before he felt the older enter him again making him moan in pleasure. He knew he wouldn’t last much more, with Sehyoon pressing against his prostate and the friction his cock had against the pillow. The older started placing butterfly kisses against the back of his neck and his shoulders. He felt his thrusts starting to lose rhythm. He knew Sehyoon was close and so was he. It didn’t take more than a couple of minutes before he was coming between his stomach and the pillow, his hole clenching around the other making it harder to keep moving. Sehyoon came moments later and used his hand to move the younger’s face to the side and kissed him, noticing new tears in his face. 

He pulled out moments later, tying the condom and throwing it away. He went to the bathroom to look for a wet cloth to clean Byeongkwan up. The younger haven’t even changed his position so he had to roll him around in bed to clean the cum from his stomach. He knew he’ll have to change his sheets later but it was the last thing on his mind. 

“Kwan,” he said softly but determined as he sat down on the bed, still naked. 

The younger let out a shaky breath before he sat up, pain shooting up his slower back. But it was good, a good kind of pain. “I have to go,” he spoke and stood up, starting to put his boxers and clothes on. 

Sehyoon put his boxers on and sat on the bed again, taking Byeongkwan’s wrist in his hand. “Kwan,” he repeated, but the younger didn’t turn to look at him, he just freed himself.

“Sorry,” Byeongkwan said without looking at him before he left. 

Sehyoon sat there confused, not knowing what had happened. The younger had came to him, almost slammed him into a wall, then pushed him to the bed and then changed his attitude completely. He will always respect Byeongkwan’s requests and would never do anything to hurt him, but this time he saw him so vulnerable he even cried and he couldn’t get his head around it. He knew something had happened to the younger but he didn’t feel like it was his place to ask, but somehow, he felt like something had broken between the two of them that night. 

*

At first it had been hard for Byeongkwan to disappear from Sehyoon’s life. It wasn’t what he wanted to do it, not at all, he was a really good friend and nice person, but he didn’t think he’d be able to continue seeing him and being only friends after all that happened between them. He needed his space and to distance himself from the older boy to get him out of his head. 

He knew that after the last time they saw each other, Sehyoon would know that something was off, he was no fool. And for a couple of weeks he’d receive the older’s text to meet up that he’ll reply with something that he was busy with practice or whatever that came to his mind. It hurt him, he wasn’t going to lie, he was craving to at least see him. He even worked his schedules around so he wouldn’t see him in college. It was stupid, even he could see it, but it was the only way. 

With time he’d stop replying to Sehyoon whose texts came less and less frequent. And after that, he stopped receiving texts at all. But that wasn’t the only thing. He had also distanced himself from his friends, because they shared the same circle, he thought it wasn’t fair that he’d put them through an awkward time just because he couldn’t be near Sehyoon without feeling like he would burst into tears. 

After a month it became easier, but he felt empty. He had made closer friends with people in his major but missed seeing Chan. It wasn’t that he didn’t see him at all, but he asked why he wouldn’t spend time with all of them and he was tired of making excuses. He should’ve told him, but after all the time that passed, he decided there was no point anymore. 

He started bumping into Sehyoon when he was in or out of practice, only receiving a nod of his head with a small smile from the other. He did the same and even though he appreciated that the older didn’t make any advances to try and talk to him, he also wondered why he never asked what happened or if he was okay. Of course he’ll try to escape that conversation if it happened, but it hurt because it made him feel like he meant nothing to Sehyoon. 

*

When almost two months have passed, Chan had texted him to go over his place one night so they could spend some time together because they didn’t get to see each other that much anymore and he missed him. Byeongkwan accepted because he missed him too and wanted to spend time with his best friend. But he wasn’t expecting what happened when he got to his place. 

“Hi hyung! Come in!” Chan smiled at him brightly when he opened the door for him. When he entered the living room, he wasn’t expecting to see Donghun and Jun too, let alone Sehyoon. He thought he’d be okay if he saw him after those couple of times he ran into him in college, but he froze for a second and his first instinct was to leave, so he turned around to do so but Chan was standing in front of the now closed door, “no hyung, this is an intervention.”

“What?” Byeongkwan asked and started to get anxious. What he thought would be a night of movies with his friend now turned into a nightmare. 

“I’m sorry I had to do this, hyung, but I- we haven’t seen you in a long time. I’m worried. Did we do something that upset you? Why do you not want to spend time with us anymore?” Chan asked. 

Byeongkwan blinked and try to think of a lie, “I- no, it’s nothing like that, I’m just busy with stuff and-”

“And that’s bullshit,” Chan’s eyebrows were now furrowed together. “I don’t know what happened but what could be that bad that you stopped talking to us altogether? It’s so shitty of you hyung that you want to escape like that,” he sounded mad and if he was honest, he had all the right to be.

“That’s enough,” Sehyoon’s voice suddenly came from behind him. 

“Don’t interfere here, hyung,” Chan spoke to him, “we have the right to know-”

“We don’t have the right to know anything he doesn’t want to tell us,” Sehyoon spoke, “let him leave.” Hearing this brought tears to Byeongkwan’s eyes, he wanted to turn around and hug him for caring for him but at the same time, it was also his fault. Well, not actually his fault, it was Byeongkwan’s fault that they stopped talking but it made him angry that Sehyoon cared enough to defend him in this kind of situation. 

“Do you know something we don’t?” Chan asked Sehyoon, his arms now crossed in front of his chest.

“Yes,” the older replied firmly, “now let him leave, he doesn’t want to be here.”

Byeongkwan stood there silent and turned to look at Sehyoon, the tears in his eyes threatening to spill any moment, “I think you didn’t care but I was wrong,” he spoke softly, “why do you have to make it so hard for me?”

Sehyoon sighed, not having anything to answer and Byeongkwan made his way past Chan to leave. 

There was a moment of silence in which no one spoke and the atmosphere turned tense.

“Okay, what in the hell just happened?” Donghun asked. 

“More like, what happened between Sehyoon and Byeongkwan hyung,” Chan asked confused. 

Sehyoon made his way into the living room again and sat, he saw no point in leaving without at least telling his friend _ something _. They weren’t going to let him leave anyway. 

“Were you dating without telling us?” Jun asked because it was the first thing that came to his mind that made sense.

“Uh… not really,” Sehyoon shook his head.

“What does ‘not really’ mean?” Chan asked, still upset with him, “hyung, I’m really mad and in no mood for playing twenty questions about this so spill because _ I will _punch you without hesitation.”

“Hey,” Donghun looked at the youngest sternly, “no one punches anyone.”

“I just don’t understand what could have happened between you two that was so bad that he stopped talking and meeting us all of a sudden. I mean, if it wasn’t for you two dating then something along those lines…” Jun spoke again.

“Listen,” Sehyoon sighed.

“Were you two sleeping together?” Donghun asked.

“Yah! Hyung, don’t say such things-” Chan started before he was interrupted by Sehyoon.

“Yes.” 

“Yes?!” Chan almost yelled. “What did you do to him, I swear-”

“Chan!” Donghun stopped him again. 

“Did one of you fell for the other?” Jun asked this time.

“I think we both did,” Sehyoon shrugged. The other three looked at him in confusion. 

“If you are both in love with each other, then why are you fighting?” 

“We are not fighting, we’re just… not on speaking terms,” Sehyoon explained.

“Why?” 

“Kwan thinks it’s one sided.”

“And you’re not going to do anything about it?” Chan asked, now speaking calmer but his face showed he was ready to jump any time now. 

“I’ve always respected what Kwan wanted and if he wants space to think and reorganize his thoughts, then I’ll give him that. I’ll talk to him eventually, but now it’s not the right time.”

“This is… so weird,” Jun spoke, “like you two weren’t the best of friends and even though we’ve seen you getting somehow closer to each other, I, personally thought it was because you shared your major and I don’t know, relay on each other because you understood common interests and strugglings. But I never- really, never thought you’d be sleeping together.”

“Well, it was kind of a shock for us too so,” Sehyoon shrugged.

“How long has this been going on?” Donghun was now the one to ask. 

“Months…”

“Months?!” Chan was speaking again, “how did you manage to hide something this big from us for so long?!”

“I don’t know, we never really talked about it,” Sehyoon scratched the back of his neck, “I guess we thought you’d ask questions we wouldn’t want to answer.”

“Why are you doing it now then?” Donghun spoke.

“Because it’s affecting our friendship and it’s not your fault so I guess I thought I’ll just let you know. Just please don’t ask Byeongkwan anything, he doesn’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay,” Jun nodded, “but I hope you can fix whatever it is that happened.”

“Me too, Jun, me too…” 

That night Byeongkwan received a text from Sehyoon. It’s been so long since he got a text from the older one that it took him by surprise. He hesitated for a moment before opening it but did in the end. 

_ ‘told the guys about us, I couldn’t keep them in the dark after what happened today. didn’t give them any details though. they won’t ask you anything.’ _

Byeongkwan stared at the screen of his phone for a couple of minutes before he typed a replay. _ ‘okay. thank you for dealing with it, hyung’ _, it’s been so long since he called him that, it made his heart clench. 

*

A couple of days after what happened at Chan’s place, there was a knock on his dorm and Byeongkwan opened to find an almost shy Chan standing there. He had stopped by his place to apologize about what had happened. He explained that he had felt hurt that his best friend had distanced himself so much, but after what Sehyoon had explained to them, he understood much better how he felt. He even said he’d fight the older if it was necessary. He didn’t ask questions about it, but he did ask Byeongkwan how he felt after stopping the encounters with the older. He was honest to his friend and told him he was doing better even though it had been hard at first but that at some point he’d talk to him, he just needed to organize his thoughts first before talking to him if he was going to face rejection. Chan didn’t tell him that Sehyoon felt the same way, but it was not his place to do so, he’ll just have to wait until his friends were ready to face each other again. 

They finished their talk with a hug and a promise that there would be no more interventions and that they’ll hang together soon. 

*

It’s been two, almost three weeks since Byeongkwan saw Sehyoon at Chan’s place. He felt more emotionally stable and even ready to face Sehyoon, and almost as if the older read his mind, he got a text from him. 

_ ‘hey, are you up for a meet up? it’s been a while’ _It was a simple message and he knew there was no hidden meaning behind it. The truth is, he loves Sehyoon, even if it’s been months since they last slept together, even if it’s also been months since they had an actual talk. The way he reacted at Chan’s place showed him that he was still the same guy, that his fear of not being important to him was uncalled for. Maybe Sehyoon wouldn’t reciprocate his feelings, but at least they could go back to being friends. 

_ ‘sure. let me know if you wanna come over or want me to come over’ _he answered shortly. He didn’t have to wait long for a reply. 

_ ‘maybe we should meet up somewhere else, so if you feel uncomfortable or want to walk away, you can do it’ _

Fucking hell, Sehyoon was really making it difficult for him. How could he be like this? He had wrapped his head around the idea of the older already having an idea of what had happened and how he felt towards him, but today this whole thing was going to end. He’ll for sure either cut ties with him or they find a way to stay friends. 

They decided to meet at a café far enough from college so they wouldn’t bump into anyone they know. Sehyoon was already there when Byeongkwan walked in. There already was a cup of coffee waiting for him on the table. 

“Hey,” he spoke softly as he took a seat in front of Sehyoon. 

“Hey,” Sehyoon said back with a smile. “I don’t know if this place is the most suitable for what we’re about to talk but I wanted you to feel comfortable enough to leave if you wanted to.” 

“Well, hopefully that won’t happen,” Byeongkwan forced a smile and got a honest one in return. 

“Do you want me to speak first or do you want to do it?” the older asked.

“I will,” Byeongkwan asked and took a sip of his coffee, “I think I owe you an explanation and an apology after everything,” his cheeks turned pink and he looked away, “I think you might have an idea though.”

“I do,” Sehyoon nodded, “but I’m all ears if you want to open up about it.”

Byeongkwan let out a trembling sigh before he started speaking, “it’s really not that much, but I needed time to wrap my head around things,” he started and Sehyoon nodded. “The thing is… I fell in love with you,” he said almost whispering and looking away from the older’s face. “I thought I’d be able to do the whole friends with benefits but the more I got to know you, the more I fell for you. To be honest… I already had a crush on you before that,” Sehyoon seemed surprised at that, “it started the first time I saw you dancing in the studio when it was orientation week for me.”

“Wait, but- that was so long ago,” Sehyoon interrupted him.

Byeongkwan could only feel his face burning and just nodded slightly before he kept talking. “Then somehow we ended with the same circle of friends, and that night at the club… I just thought it’d be a one time thing but when you came back, I couldn’t believe it, because really, why would you be interested in me? And well, after we talked about it and had some kind of… deal… you know the rest” he shrugged, “the worst thing is that no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, to let you go and forget you, I couldn’t. So I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, hyung, but I wanted to get some kind of closure.”

Sehyoon examined his face for a moment, and he noticed how the younger’s eyes didn’t hold that brightness that used to. His face was not as happy as it used to be and he missed that. He wanted Byeongkwan to know that it wasn’t one sided. 

“I think you’re expecting a rejection,” Sehyoon spoke. Byeongkwan didn’t meet his eyes but his gaze was stuck in his hands holding the cup of coffee. “Kwan,” Sehyoon said softer and took one of the hands in his, “I hate to break it to you but that won’t happen.”

Pause. Byeongkwan lifted his head to meet the older’s eyes so fast he was surprised he didn’t get whiplash. Sehyoon was smiling at him softly. 

“It’s not one sided like you think. I fell for you too.” 

“You have to be joking,” Byeongkwan laughed to try to wash away the expectation mixed with discomfort. 

“I’m not,” Sehyoon shook his head, “why would I not fall for you? You’re such a ball of positivity and good energy, always kind and caring. You’re such a nice person I couldn’t believe you’d fall for me, a shy and awkward guy.” He explained. “That last night… I was so confused, and it took me a while to figure out what had happened. But I wanted to give you the space you needed to organize your feelings and thoughts, that’s why at first I kept messaging you. Even though I had an idea, I didn’t want to believe that I didn’t have you anymore.” 

“Hyung…” Byeongkwan spoke softly, his eyes big after hearing what Sehyoon had to say. After all this time, the older had been nothing but kind and caring to him, and all he’s done is hurt him. “I didn’t know… why didn’t you speak to me sooner?”

“Like I told you. I felt like you needed time to figure out how you felt, and I wanted to give you that. You know how I always respect what you need.”

Byeongkwan was on the verge of crying. He couldn’t believe this amazing man he had fallen for actually loved him back. 

“So, uh… does this mean we can be together?” Byeongkwan asked shyly.

“I’d love to if you want to. We can take it slow and see where it takes us.”

“I’d love to,” the younger smiled. Sehyoon just kept holding his hand, his thumb caressing it. There was a moment of silence before he spoke again, “I think I owe our friends some explanations.”

“Maybe. But don’t pressure yourself into it. We’ll do it whenever you’re ready.”

“Thank you. How much do they know?” Byeongkwan asked. 

“That we slept together for months and that we’re in love with each other. Literally just that.”

After that they just spent the rest of the time in the café talking about everything and anything just to make up for the time they spent apart, and when they walked out, they did it hand in hand. 

*

They had told their friends that they were now on speaking terms again and started hanging together like they did before. But it wasn’t until they made it official that they decided to tell their friends they were together. They did it at a movie marathon night at Byeongkwan’s and the three of their friends had cheered for them. 

“So, you don’t have to answer but mind to tell us when was the first time you slept together that after that actually decided to keep doing it behind our backs?” Donghun asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Uh…” Byeongkwan started, because really, it felt like it was ages ago, “that night at the club, when you and Jun did it too…”

“Wait… you mean- you mean to tell me we share anniversaries?” Donghun spoke and Jun laughed at him. 

“But you started dating way before us, hyung,” Byeongkwan explained. 

“It doesn’t matter! We share our ‘hook up with our now boyfriends’ anniversary!” 

“That’s not a thing!” Sehyoon said and they all laughed. 

“We should go on double dates!” Donghun spoke. “Chan should get a boyfriend too so we can go on triple dates!”

“Oh my God, I’m friends with idiots,” Chan face palmed and everyone laughed. 

Byeongkwan was happy as ever with the outcome of his relationship. Maybe it had taken him time, and maybe he had spent too much time thinking about how he’d be rejected. He spent so many months being angry, not at Sehyoon, but at himself but now he realized he had a partner that always respected him in every step and decision he took and he was more than happy about that. Well, that and the fact that he got to have Sehyoon in bed all to himself again, he loved him to death, but he also loved the way he made him feel loved and good, because really, that’s how it all started for him and if it was good before they were together, now it was just splendid. He couldn’t ask for more to be happy.

**Author's Note:**

> this was way longer than I expected *phew* I hope you enjoyed it!


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